By Hiral Shah
How often do we find ourselves bludgeoned by a task, repenting about not rejecting it in the very beginning? When you're looked upon to do something, it's natural to say yes. Overwhelmed by the request we may not feel the want to evaluate the feasibility of doing the task. We may as well commit to something with the fear of not disappointing people. Or we commit to something with the ‘fear of missing out.’
What are the consequences of all this? Any uncalculated acceptance may be stressful, you may put your priorities aside or you may even get involved in something that is not needed also. You may only end up looking busy with merely anything to gain from it and absolutely nothing to glorify either. You may also lose connections with friends and family. So think before committing to something. Or simply put, you need to be more selective about what you say ‘yes’ to.
Anything that contradicts your values should be a straight no.
Your intentions of accepting or rejecting are the most important. Intentions need to be positive and ethical. If you are accepting something with a fear, like, ‘what everyone will think if I don’t do this,’ will lead to a commitment with no 100% dedication from your side and there is a chance of both, stress and image loss.
Focus on what you are getting by doing something in the present. Don’t build a future castle on mere words of temptations.
Keep a check on your priorities and even your vision. If there is an interference with either of them, then it does not get a positive nod.
Estimate your time, energy and efforts in doing something that is expected. If the benefits are no match then it should be a straight no.
‘Yes’ is the easiest word to say but the execution thereafter may be a lot on your plate. A no can be the most fruitful word in certain situations.
Saying no is an important skil as it allows us to value ourselves more. It also helps us prioritise ourselves, and can even lead us to new opportunities that wouldn't have been achievable by saying yes. And it even allows us to set boundaries.
The habit :
It's challenging for many to say no but a practice here would make a difference. It requires you to be firm in your decisions when you have to say a no, which can be difficult as you may even have to face a persuasive argument.
When someone is expecting a positive reply from you they assume that whatever happens will be good enough for them and somewhere for you too. This is termed as "presumptive affirming." There is a rare thought about your expectations, your efforts and your time.
Developing the courage :
You need to maintain your focus and stop feeling overwhelmed. You don’t necessarily need to explain why you can't do something; just let people know what's important in your life and then let them choose their own way forward from there.
Keep a check on your emotions, your calculated decision would be good for everyone involved.
Craft the ‘NO’ properly
Your decision is your right and communicate it with full transparency, and in the most polite way. If you decide to say ‘no’ do not procrastinate nor beat around the bush. Remember if there was a task bestowed on you it was purely because of your relationship, trust and your calibre. Also remember that you cannot show your non participation by not replying, that will be a spoiler.
Buy some time if possible and consult someone who can give the right advice before you showcase your decision.
Don’t eat stress in breakfast, lunch and dinner, think wisely and then commit.